The News

Yes we are still alive. Very much so--in fact.

I have been wanting to post for a few months now, but felt I should wait--due to my past history. So alas I have said nothing about anything.

Today I am eleven and a half weeks pregnant.
We had our first doctors appointment this week and that was the cue I was waiting for. I wanted the "go-ahead" from my doctor that I was ok, normal, and progressing like a normal pregnant woman should.
To be honest it has been a tough few months. After going through two miscarriages together, you can imagine how difficult it might be for us to believe it can really be happening. I have been in and out of the doctor's office since January getting tests and biopsies done, figuring out medications, and fighting with insurances. All in all, the day the positive test came, we were skeptical and mentally decided to have a "go-with-the-flow" attitude. After the positive blood test a week later, it was a little more real. We told a few people, but decided not to shout it out until after the first appointment with the doctor.
I have been sick, tired, and hungry. I haven't been sleeping, all smells are overwhelming, and the bathroom is a constant companion. I have only broken down crying a few times--which I feel is an accomplishment. All of this is expected and is "good." All these things gave me a little comfort that things might be normal--but it was still hard. I felt detached--and I know Danny did too. Having been through the pain of losing a pregnancy mentally turned me off to this one. Daily, I still have my doubts--is that cramp normal? i missed my prenatal pill again. will the right body parts start producing progesterone like the doctor said they would? can I stop taking the medication?
Seeing the doctor on Tuesday was the much needed boost we needed. I don't think I have ever had a more positive doctors appointment. He said I looked good, my weight was good, all my concerns about cramps and such after talking them through seemed normal. Still, it wasn't until we heard the rushing little "whoosh, whoosh, whoosh" of the baby's heart beating that it all seemed ok. Seeing Danny's face light up with unbelief and excitement at the first audible beat brought my tears. I cried for joy for the first time in a long time. There really is a healthy baby in there, and it is doing great. It is going to make it here alright.
Just thought all of you should know.

And, yes, when we know the gender--we will let everyone know.